Will Smith’s swing at Chris Rock sends 2022 Oscars off the rails: We break it down

Will Smith’s swing at Chris Rock sends 2022 Oscars off the rails: We break it down

27 Mar    Finance News
HOLLYWOOD, CA - March 27, 2022. Chris Rock and Will Smith onstage during the show at the 94th Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre at Ovation Hollywood on Sunday, March 27, 2022. (Myung Chun / Los Angeles Times)

Chris Rock and Will Smith onstage at the 94th Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

After a long and controversial road, the 94th Academy Awards are finally here. Final predictions are in, with “Power of the Dog” and “CODA” expected to battle it out for the night’s top prize, and all eyes — including ours — will be on a telecast that promises to emphasize entertainment over tradition.

Keep it here throughout the night as Times columnists Mary McNamara and Glenn Whipp break down the best speeches, biggest upsets and other top stories of Sunday’s awards — including the trophies handed out off screen — in our 2022 Oscars live chat.

8:42 p.m. It’s only a little after 8:30, Glenn! And this was fun. Maybe we’ll do it again next year! —MM

Is that them giving us permission to follow suit? Because it feels like it’s late, Mary. Very. Very. Late. —GW

And here are the hosts in their jammies. They did a great job I thought and we’re just what, nine minutes over three hours? My Apple watch has been telling me to stand for the past four so I’d better do it. Gotta close those rings, even on Oscar night. —MM

The cast and producers of "CODA" accept the award for best picture.

The cast and producers of “CODA” accept the award for best picture. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

8:40 p.m. Well, I am happy too because the essay I wrote yesterday titled “How ‘CODA’ won best picture” is now live on the Los Angeles Times’ website! Oh … and the movie is sweet and wonderful. Definitely not the best picture in my eyes, but I’m not going to throw any shade toward a film that still puts a lump in my throat even after seeing it several times. —GW

“Ok, ‘CODA.’” Greatest announcement of best picture ever, by Miss Liza Minnelli. I admit it, you were right and I am very happy anyway. Not that anyone asked. —MM

8:34 p.m. The Second Coming? The breaking of the seventh seal? —MM

Gaga and Liza!!! This has to be the last award! What can follow??? —GW

Chastain shouts out Andrew Garfield, who’s had so many great roles this year but no statuary. Also stands up against rise in bigotry, without naming any names … hang on, Gaga and Liza freaking Minnelli?!? —MM

Jessica Chastain after winning the award for Best Actress in a Leading Role for "The Eyes of Tammy Faye."

Jessica Chastain after winning the award for Best Actress in a Leading Role for “The Eyes of Tammy Faye.” (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

8:31 p.m. Oooooh yeaaah. Awards were given out tonight! There were a lot of Penelope Cruz truthers in this category – and I would have loved to see her win – but I had Chastain. Not a big fan of “The Eyes of Tammy Faye,” which will now likely win one more Oscar than “The Power of the Dog.” But she was terrific in it. —GW

Jessica Chastain wins best actress! How’s your card looking now, Glenn? —MM

8:27 p.m. “Will Smith said it all. What more can be said?” Anthony Hopkins pretty much sums up the rest of this show. What can follow all that??? — GW

Amy Schumer: ”Did I miss something. It feels like the vibe has changed in here or something.” God bless this room for handling that whole thing with such grace. (Also, Billy Crystal, eat your heart out. Again.) —MM

8:23 p.m. If it was staged — and I can’t believe that it was — then Smith would deserve the Oscar just for that speech. —GW

That was a pretty amazing moment, so amazing that I understand why some people were wondering if the moment with Rock had been staged. I can’t believe it was, but Smith pulled a huge heart-wrenching moment out of a pretty terrible temper tantrum. I was floored by the bit about Denzel Washington telling him “At your highest moment, be careful; that’s when the devil comes for you.” The look on Washington’s face too. It was the most heartfelt apology and moment of self-revelation I think I’ve ever seen on this, or possibly any, show. What a night. —MM

Will Smith accepts the award for Best Actor in a Leading Role for "King Richard" at the 94th Academy Awards.

Will Smith accepts the award for Best Actor in a Leading Role for “King Richard” at the 94th Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

8:17 p.m. “Love will make you do crazy things.” What more needs to be said? —GW

Well, he won so we’ll never know. “Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family,” Smith began his acceptance speech. “Denzel said to me, ‘At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.’ It’s like I want to be a vessel for love. I want to say thank you to Venus and Serena, and thank you to the total Williams family for entrusting me with their story. I want to apologize to the academy, I want to apologize to all my fellow nominees.” —MM

8:08 p.m. It’s a wonderful victory. And it might be the only Oscar that “The Power of the Dog” wins from its 12 nominations. A director winning for a movie that takes nothing else hasn’t happened since Mike Nichols won for “The Graduate.” Which is pretty good company to be in. —GW

And she does! Thank God. Let’s move away from the feuding males and talk about how terrific Campion is and how great it is that she finally won this category, became the third woman to do so, and that two women have finally won it back to back for the first time in Oscar history. Honestly, can you imagine a world in which men winning for directing two years in a row would be cause for celebration? Also, she is an icon and though icons don’t need shiny things, it is still nice when they get them. And now I’m mad that Will Smith losing his s— is going to trump Jane Campion’s historic win. Sigh. Men. — MM

Director Jane Campion accepts the award for Best Director for "The Power of the Dog" at the Academy Awards.

Director Jane Campion accepts the award for Best Director for “The Power of the Dog” at the Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

8:01 p.m. It’s true, but Kevin Costner is providing some healing drone-chant about the power of movies and the importance of directors. If Jane Campion wins for a film about the toxic culture of hyper masculinity, well… —MM

It feels like that Billie Eilish performance took place several hours ago. In the Before Times. — GW

In other news, Billie Eilish and Finneas just won for best song, denying Lin-Manuel Miranda his EGOT and taking the pair to the “GO” part of the term. From the moment it was announced that they would be writing and performing the latest Bond anthem, this win seemed pre-ordained. Still exciting though. —MM

7:53 p.m. No. They should just announce the category now. — MM

Is anyone even closely watching the ceremony right now? Or are we all just replaying the slap over and over, waiting for best actor to be presented? —GW

Do you even give a guy an Oscar if he just smacked your host though? But I guess the academy can stop worrying about those 8 pre-telecast wins dominating tomorrow’s conversation. —MM

Denzel Washington talks to Chris Rock onstage during the show at the 94th Academy Awards.

Denzel Washington talks to Chris Rock onstage during the show at the 94th Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

7:51 p.m. When Rock hosted the 2016 Oscars, he mocked Will and Jada, who had boycotted the event. “Jada got mad, she said she’s not coming. Doesn’t she have a TV show? Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties — I wasn’t invited!” Rock added: “You get mad that Will was this good and didn’t get nominated” [for his role in “Concussion”]. “It’s also not fair that Will was paid $20 million to do ‘Wild Wild West.’” So, yeah, I guess there’s some history there. —GW

7:49 p.m. Yeah, I wonder if people who have been following on social media are suddenly tuning in. But it was such an over-the-top response. Though Rock should know better than to call out a woman’s appearance. But I have never felt this anxious during an Oscars telecast, even when we almost missed deadline with the “Moonlight” win. —MM

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Now, we’re just waiting to see what Smith says when he wins the lead actor Oscar. If they had saved this award to the last prize of the evening, like last year, they’d guarantee no one would tune out. —GW

7:38 p.m. At least Diddy got Smith to laugh. But that was one of the weirdest, most unsettling Oscar moments I have ever seen. I wonder how it played in the room, how the energy changed. —MM

I think he owes Questlove a word or two. —GW

He does not seem to be in an apologizing frame of mind. And here I was making fun of Sean Penn. You have to believe that Rock did not know about Jada’s condition. —MM

Yes! Is he going to apologize? Double down??? —GW

Well here’s the “Godfather” tribute and all I, and probably everyone else, can think about is: What happens when Will Smith wins his Oscar? —MM

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett watch the show at the 94th Academy Awards.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett watch the show at the 94th Academy Awards. (Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)

7:31 p.m. Jada Pinkett Smith has a hair loss condition. She has spoken openly about it. Will Smith did not appreciate Rock’s joke. But … yeah … wow. I need to rewind and watch that again. —GW

Apparently when Rock made a “G.I. Jane” joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved head, Smith lost it, got up, slapped Rock and said “keep my wife’s name out of your f—mouth.” Wow. Not great. And very unfortunate for Questlove who just won best documentary for “Summer of Soul.” —MM

That did not look scripted. — GW

I think something very terrible. —MM

What. Just. Happened??? —GW

Chris Rock is now on and what just happened? Did Will Smith actually lose his shit? The longest bleep in Oscar history silenced his exchange with Rock and Rock is now looking genuinely taken aback. —MM

7:26 p.m. She said she was blacklisted after that speech and received threats. She probably doesn’t want to come back. But … if she wanted to return … —GW

Glenn! The “Godfather” Oscars reunion is supposed to keep us older folks tuned in to the telecast! But that would actually be a fabulous moment. Where is she now? —MM

They keep hyping this “Godfather” Oscars reunion. Can we have a “Godfather” Oscars reunion and not invite Sacheen Littlefeather? Because when I think about “The Godfather” and the Oscars, the first thing that comes to mind is her accepting the award for Brando. —GW

Billie Eilish and Finneas perform at the 94th Academy Awards.

Billie Eilish and Finneas perform at the 94th Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

7:22 p.m. Glenn! Billie is supposed to draw the yout’ to the telecast! And not every Bond theme can be “Skyfall.” But it definitely could have gone after that 007 tribute, early enough not to act as an ASMR trigger. —MM

Gotta be more exciting than that Billie Eilish performance. Nowhere to go but up! —GW

“Our final exciting hour.” As always, wondering how this show is still taking so long. —MM

7:15 p.m. Every minute devoted to the fan pandering, er, favorite award is a crime against the Oscars. Would I feel differently if Twitter weren’t involved? Perhaps. Also I cannot believe any producer worth the title would give up the chance to have Samuel L. Jackson and Elaine May on their live television show. —MM

Meanwhile, Denzel Washington gave Samuel L. Jackson an honorary Oscar Friday night, producing multiple bear hugs and a huge amount of joy. Are we going to see that? Or any of the other great moments from the Governors Awards ceremony? (Elaine May, Liv Ullmann were honored too.) We damn well better. —GW

OMIGOD is this the Twitter contest situation? And will “Army of the Dead” win and shake my (insert hysterical laughter) faith in Twitter? —MM

7:08 p.m. Seriously. You are like my husband saying “well, the game’s over” whenever anyone makes a touchdown. And I say this, even though you know I want “CODA” to win, and I’m thrilled it won this category. I am concerned, however, that Sian Heder’s dress does not appear to have pockets. —MM

There you go. With that screenplay win, “CODA” is winning best picture. —GW

You are definitely not getting that Shabbat invite at the Haims. —GW

I am not a huge fan of “Licorice Pizza” so that doesn’t really bother me at all. I thought “King Richard” might win, but as an Irish American, I needed “Belfast,” which I thought told a wonderful story about how Protestant families were impacted by the Troubles so I’m totally good with this win. —MM

I guess I knew Kenneth Branagh was going to win original screenplay. Paul Thomas Anderson … 11 nominations. Zero Oscars. The academy remains on point when it comes to honoring the best filmmakers. —GW

Kenneth Branagh winning for Best Original Screenplay for "Belfast" at the 94th Academy Awards.

Kenneth Branagh winning for Best Original Screenplay for “Belfast” at the 94th Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

7:00 p.m. Nobody seems happy with that Megan Thee Stallion remix performance … which came awfully late in the ceremony. What time do kids go to bed these days? I guess they can see it on TikTok tomorrow morning. —GW

Amazingly, “Encanto’s” most popular song, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” didn’t get nominated for an Oscar. Equally amazing, the telecast includes a blown-out performance anyway. Who says the academy doesn’t care about what the people want? —MM

6:50 p.m. Just realized “Cruella’s” Jenny Beavan was the first winner to be played off – everyone is keeping their speeches pretty short, and the show does feel like it is moving at an admirable clip. We’ll see if that holds. —MM

She doesn’t have anything but an A game; she always looks amazing. Perfect choice for presenter. —MM

I love the win, too. Also here for Lupita Nyong’o’s dress/eyewear combo. If you’re going to present costume design, you gotta bring your A game. —GW

Also, super thrilled that “Cruella” won for costume. I loved that film very much and the fashion was the third main character. —MM

That’s true. Politics is often listed, sincerely or not, as a potential reason for dwindling audiences. I’m not sure I buy it, but it certainly comes up in the comments section! But here’s Riz Ahmed reminding us that “in such divided time, there is no us and them, there is only us.” —MM

6:43 p.m. It’s like everyone got a memo from the academy before the show: People hate politics in awards shows. Stay away from politics. But … I think we can all agree about Ukraine. I thought that moment you mentioned was effective. Maybe we’ll see more of them. —GW

The academy calls for a moment of silence for the people of Ukraine and urges viewers to support the Ukrainian people any way they can. I’m still surprised no one has mentioned the invasion in their speeches. I thought we would see more blue and yellow. But as you mentioned, there has been not even a nod to the controversy over the decision to award 8 Oscars before the telecast. —MM

6:36 p.m. If “Drive My Car” is going to win best picture, it’d need to take international film too. “Parasite” won both. But I think “Drive My Car” will have to be content with this one Oscar. It might pull off a surprise in adapted screenplay, but that’s a tough category. I think “CODA” will prevail there. —GW

“Drive My Car” wins best international feature, dashing Justin Chang’s hopes for a best picture win, no? “And I also would like to thank my wife” – best acceptance-speech save ever from director Ryusuke Hamaguchi. —MM

So are we halfway through? Wait, did Tiffany Haddish match her dress to the set? Once again, I am wondering why she doesn’t host more awards shows. —MM

Being able to incorporate a Popeye impression into a moving tribute to his father pretty much sums up the range in Kotsur’s performance in “CODA.” Love that win. —GW

Troy Kotsur accepts the Actor in a Supporting Role award for 'CODA' from Yuh-jung Youn at the 94th Academy Awards.

Troy Kotsur accepts the Actor in a Supporting Role award for ‘CODA’ from Yuh-jung Youn at the 94th Academy Awards. (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

6:28 p.m. Yes! The emotion in that speech! That’s why we watch the Oscars! —GW

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That’s preparation! He is only the second Deaf actor (and the first Deaf male actor) to win an Oscar, the first being his “CODA” co-star Marlee Matlin. The interpreter’s shaky voice while Kotsur talks of his father – what a moment. —MM

And she signs Troy Kotsur’s name! —GW

Yuh-Jung Youn! Has entered the building! The woman who had the best acceptance speech last year, for her role in “Minari,” presenting best supporting actor and apologizing in advance for mispronouncing the nominees names. —MM

6:17 p.m. Is that a good thing or a bad thing. Yay, here’s Wanda Sykes, that should jazz things up. No, wait, it’s a big commercial for the Academy Museum. OK, a funny commercial for the Academy Museum, with bonus points for “White Chicks” reference, but still. Is this why those 8 categories got moved? —MM

LOL. Has he asked yet what’s so different about this year’s ceremony? Because that’s what I’m wondering right now. Aside from the awkward pre-taped presentations being cut into the show, it feels a lot like the same ol’ Oscars. —GW

Well, my TV just suddenly switched to “Winning Time,” which, it turns out, my sleeping husband is recording. I have forgotten how to deal with actual televisions! While I frantically change rooms, shall I make a plug for our new “Winning Time” podcast? Oh, and my frantic obscenities woke my husband up so he is watching the Oscars again. You’re welcome, Will Packer. —MM

6:09 p.m. I think if my movie was nominated for animated feature, documentary feature and international film, as is the case with “Flee,” I’d be honored – that has never happened – and be OK with losing all three categories. (Probably not, though.) Of course, only one of the categories has been announced … maybe “Flee” pulls an upset in documentary … but I can’t see “Summer of Soul” losing. —GW

It is just amazing to see “Flee” vs. traditional animated feature fare like “Encanto.” Which just won! “Flee” better win something though. None of the “Encanto” creators say anything about the “don’t say gay” controversy that sparked Disney walkouts. It has been a very non-political Oscars thus far, which is a bit weird since so much is going on in the world. But maybe everyone is just happy to be back. —MM

Too bad they’re not performing “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” right now. That would rouse him. —GW

Attention Will Packer, my husband has fallen asleep. In case you were wondering. —MM

Sebastián Yatra at the Oscars

Sebastián Yatra arriving at the 94th Academy Awards. (Jay L. Clendenin/Los Angeles Times)

5:58 p.m. I feel like “60 Years of Bond” is a pretty dull idea for a montage. Like, isn’t it 60 years of the same movie, just starring a bunch of different guys? —GW

“60 Years of 007” is fun, though not enough Judi Dench. I stand by Daniel Craig as best Bond, and I love that it has a “Doctor Who”-like franchise – have there been as many Bonds as Doctors? I don’t think so. OK, I will now try to keep my TV geek leashed during the Oscars. Though it is an actual TV show. Which people often forget, so it’s really nice to have hosts who have done a lot of TV. Seriously, stopping now. —MM

Keep thinking back to Beyoncé’s tennis ball green color scheme. Feel like it was a real missed opportunity for Will Smith’s tux. But the set … yes … it’s … um … interesting … I kind of like the weird seating at the front. The whole thing probably looks awesome if you’re high, but I promised our overlords I’d keep the edibles tucked away until after we’re done. — GW

Speaking of visual effects, I am not at all convinced by this set. What do you think? —MM

5:51 p.m. As you predicted, “Dune” takes visual effects, which is not surprising. Always feel bad when these big teams come up and only one or two start to speak, but hey, they all have Oscars and I don’t so… —MM

There were some reports that pre-show winners would be holding their Oscars upside down in a show of protest about being moved off the live ceremony. So far, we haven’t seen that. —GW

Dude, you are just daring the gods to give it best picture. Loving the acceptance speech for “The Queen of Basketball,” hating the weird cut-in from the pre-taped categories. The best thing about the Oscars is it’s live, as in live or die, nature. —MM

5:44 p.m. That’s five for “Dune” with a likely win for visual effects to come. But, yeah, that’ll be it. —GW

Not sure why they are announcing cinematography, but whatevs. The Oscar goes to—“nominated three times and this is the most words I’ve ever spoken here,” says Woody Harrelson– ”Greig Fraser for “Dune”! So it’s a “Dune” sweep so far. Still holding with the “Mad Max: Fury Road” comparison, Glenn? —MM

“White Men Can’t Jump” reunion! Underrated movie. “I’m the only sober one up here … some things haven’t changed in 30 years,” says Rosie Perez. —GW

5:36 p.m. How much time did that save? Two minutes? —GW

Did Jason Momoa just burp as they announced nominees for best sound, which we know “Dune” already won? One way to make it “fresh.” —MM

Regina Hall doing a “calling all the handsome single men” COVID-testing joke – proof that we have entered a new stage of the pandemic. Wait, I’m sorry, did she just call out Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s open marriage and give Josh Brolin and Jason Momoa a “COVID pat-down”? We have entered a whole new stage of Oscars. —MM

Ariana DeBose accepts the award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for her performance in "West Side Story."

Ariana DeBose accepts the award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for her performance in “West Side Story.” (Myung Chun/Los Angeles Times)

5:27 p.m. DeBose wins the supporting actress Oscar 60 years after Rita Moreno won for the same role in “West Side Story.” Both wins historic. DeBose, the first openly queer woman of color winner; Moreno, the first Latina. —GW

And when the mama is in the house, bonus points. —GW

The only reason to win an Oscar is to thank your mama in public. I love the camera following her off stage. I hope they continue that. —MM

An openly queer, Afro-Latina woman finding her strength in life through art. Great speech from DeBose. And the shoutout and cutaway to her proud mama was beautiful. —GW

Ariana DeBose wins supporting actress! First out queer woman of color to win an Oscar and the very best thing in “West Side Story.” I know you had this one, Glenn. Even I had this one. — MM

Also, clips from movies are back! Yay for clips! —GW

H.E.R.’s sunglasses. I am dead. —MM

OK. Supporting actress. Ariana DeBose incoming. —GW

Loved the “Being the Ricardos” shade. —GW

“Aaron Sorkin, the innovation to make a movie about Lucille Ball and not one funny moment … like making a biopic about Michael Jordan and just showing the bus trips between games.” Billy Crystal, eat your heart out. —MM

“I’m Amy Schumer or as they know me in Hollywood: Melissa McCarthy said no. I just want to congratulate all of you – during a raging pandemic you made a movie. Not all of them were great … I didn’t see many of them.” She seems to be delivering a more traditional opener. —MM

5:14 p.m. What I want to know most: The roster of everyone who scored the tables in the front of the theater … though it does bring back memories of that painful 2021 ceremony. —GW

“We’re going to have a gay night,” Wanda Sykes takes a dig at Disney. Short and sweet intro, with some nice digs at lifetime winner Samuel L. Jackson – ”where’s his rom-com? Where’s his musical.” Promising energy. —MM

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“I watched that movie three times … and I’m halfway through it.” Wanda Sykes, getting an early start kicking dirt on the grave of “The Power of the Dog.” —GW

And there’s the Chalamet joke. —MM

Timothée Chalamet

Timothée Chalamet arriving (shirtless) at the 94th Academy Awards. (Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)

5:06 p.m. The tennis ball color scheme is just the chef’s kiss. —GW

Ever, ever, EVER. —MM

Is it too soon to call this the best Oscars ever? Maybe? OK … definitely the best Oscar opener ever. —GW

They did do it in Compton! On the tennis courts. There will never be another Beyoncé. Oh my God, look at the tennis-ball-yellow set and outfits. I’m going to stop talking and just watch. —MM

Oh … well … this one should be obvious. How else would you open the show? —GW

The show’s about to begin. Any last thoughts/predictions, Glenn? Will someone hand Chalamet a shirt? Cuz he certainly handed the hosts a joke. — MM

4:53 p.m I know. I’m like “where’s the California Pizza Kitchen delivery?” —MM

Only 10 more minutes of this, Mary … oh wait … we’re doing this during the show too? —GW

Timotheeeeeeeeee to KStew … I’ll see your dress shorts and raise you a shirtless Chalamet. —GW

Um, so apparently Timothée Chalamet came to the Oscars … shirtless? Jacket, check; shirt, MIA. Honestly, I don’t know what to do with this information, but I’m pretty pissed ABC didn’t devote a whole segment to it. Also, loving Kristen Stewart’s loafers. Pockets and loafers — best Oscar red carpet ever. —MM

4:44 p.m. I didn’t predict they’d hand out these eight Oscars in a half hour! Maybe they’ll actually bring the show in on time? I got six of the eight … missing on the animated short and film editing, which I thought was going to go to “Tick, Tick … Boom!” But it looks like people started checking off “Dune” in the crafts categories and just couldn’t stop. That probably bodes well for the film’s cinematographer, Greig Fraser, who’d be the only “Dune” winner to accept the Oscar during the live telecast. —GW

Am I the only one now having a fantasy of Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, Billie Eilish and Finneas joining the Haim family for Shabbat dinner? Some pretty adorable family vibes at this Oscars. Wait, not surprisingly, “The Eyes of Tammy Faye” has won hair and makeup, which I think is the last of the eight early awards. Apparently, the academy was a bit slow in tweeting out the results, but we have people in the room. How’s your prediction count going, Glenn? —MM

4:35 p.m. And now production design! But nope, it’s not going to win best picture. This is like the year “Mad Max: Fury Road” won six Oscars in the crafts categories … but nothing else. —GW

Me too! Who says we don’t live the Oscar-ready life? Meanwhile, “Dune” has won original score, editing and sound. Does this say anything to you about its chances for best picture? Because that would be quite an upset, no? —MM

Jude Hill arrives at the 94th Academy Awards.

Jude Hill arrives at the 94th Academy Awards. (Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)

4:27 p.m. You can’t imagine how happy Kristen Stewart’s dress shorts make me. I’m wearing dress shorts too! And we didn’t even call each other before the show! —GW

Ariana DeBose rocking gorgeous red pants (with POCKETS) and Kristen Stewart in … shorts. (Is that an Oscars first?) They may be too short for pockets, but we’ll call it three and a fashion-forward trend. —MM

Yes! That was the short with Riz Ahmed. It’s quite good. So two out of three in the shorts. I’ll take it. —GW

The hosts of the ABC red carpet just listed the nominees for hair and makeup, which was nice but a bit weird because I was thinking, wait, has that already been announced? Live action short just went to “The Long Goodbye.” Did you have that on your card, Glenn? —MM

4:18 p.m. And … “The Windshield Wiper” wins animated short in an upset over Aardman’s “Robin Robin.” My dream of a perfect Oscar scorecard is over. Again. —GW

And “Dune” won sound. I’m anxious to hear how big the crowd is inside the theater because it seems like the whole point of an awards event is for people to win in front of their peers. But it would seem many of those peers are still arriving and chatting on the red carpet. —MM

Carolina Gaitán arrives at the 94th Academy Awards.

Carolina Gaitán arrives at the 94th Academy Awards. (Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)

4:14 p.m. Haha … but I just heard “The Queen of Basketball” won documentary short! I am ridiculously excited. That was a tough call! And I kind of miss watching that during the ceremony. But I’m sure they’ll use the time … um … wisely. —GW

Are you telling me you are the only man on the planet who does not regularly hand his wife his keys/wallet/phone with a casual “could you put this in your purse?!? It officially no longer matters if any of your Oscar predictions are correct. —MM

4:10 p.m. As a dude, I fully endorse dresses with pockets if it means I don’t have to carry stuff for my wife on all the occasions that we walk the red carpet together. (And that’s my contribution to the fashion discourse, Mary!) —GW

Excuuuuuse me, just got a glimpse of Jane Campion, queen, and she is wearing an amazing black dress WITH POCKETS. Because a dress can only be truly amazing if it HAS POCKETS. And that’s the extent of my fashion commentary because honestly, everything else is just frills and feathers. —MM

4:03 p.m. And it’s not a Madonna British accent. He’s really from the U.K.! —GW

Did I know and forget that Andrew Garfield has a British accent? So embarrassing. —MM

Haha … Andrew Garfield, too. He’s on the red carpet talking about living life fully … if you count the number of fashion looks he has delivered this awards season, no one lives life more fully than this guy. He’s not going to win the Oscar, but he has increased his standing tenfold the past few months. —GW

I have to say that the red carpet looks pretty empty so far, which makes me wonder how many people are going to get there in time for the pre-telecast awards. Still, and after too many years reporting from the red carpet, it is kind of exciting to see it back to a non-train-station normality. And oh, wait, Olivia Colman has arrived, so the Oscars can officially begin. —MM

Alana Haim attends the 94th Academy Awards.

Alana Haim attends the 94th Academy Awards. (Jay L. Clendenin/Los Angeles Times)

3:52 p.m. If I sing a chorus of … I don’t know … “Breaking Free” from “High School Musical,” can I get back in your good graces? Or would that be even more annoying? (Yes, this is what happens when you are a parent with kids who grew up with that movie. The songs are still burned into my brain.) —GW

Can Vanessa Hudgens just say “Go Wildcats!” so I can die happy? And I too am eager to see how well you did since I am almost always rooting for movies and performances just because I loved them and you say they will never win and then you rattle off 18 reasonable reasons, and you’re usually right which is really ANNOYING. But, in my defense, I have been rooting for “CODA” for months now and it is a front-runner, so maybe heart can win over head at least once. —MM

Vanessa Hudgens arrives at the Oscars.

Vanessa Hudgens arrives at the Oscars. (Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)

3:44 p.m. I doubt I’ll ever wrangle an invitation to Shabbat dinner at the Haims, but I did just circle May 1 on the calendar because I will be at the sisters’ Hollywood Bowl show. And, yes, this pre-show hour is weird … so many AMAZING things, so much ENERGY. (Or that’s what I’m hearing, and God bless the hosts’ enthusiasm.) But I also want to know how many of the short films categories I got right on my Oscar predictions. So my attention is going to be divided. —GW

So you’re probably not into the red carpet, Glenn, but I’m so curious about how they are going to handle herding people into the theater for this weird and controversial pre-show awards, that I’m tuning in. And I have to say, the Haim sisters are completely charming and amazing. They are all in “Licorice Pizza” in which Alana stars and, as she just said, “Now everyone knows what it’s like to have Shabbat dinner at the Haim house.” Which really is the best reason to watch “Licorice Pizza.” —MM

3:30 p.m. Hey Glenn: I’m wearing Temple University, Lululemon and Nike slides, thanks, and I bet every woman on the red carpet is wishing she had the same level of extra give and fuzzy cotton available to her. Especially since attendees have been asked to show up an hour earlier than usual to accommodate the pre-Oscar show, in which winners in eight categories will be announced before the telecast begins. Lots of people are outraged, including no doubt all those women who just realized this means an extra hour in shapewear extremis. —MM

Hello, Oscar watchers! I’m Glenn Whipp, awards columnist for The Times and the guy who’s most definitely not a contender for the best dressed prize. I’m comfortably ensconced in my dress flannel, settling in for a long evening — but not too long … they’re promising a three-hour ceremony (haha) — and looking forward to hanging with my good friend, Times columnist Mary McNamara. Hello Mary! Who are you wearing tonight? —GW

This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.

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