Dear Moneyist,
A friend of mine is getting married next month with a handful of guests, mainly family and close friends. The wedding itself was put off because of the coronavirus pandemic.
Do I send a gift?
They are having a large party next year. I was only invited to that. If I do send a wedding present, do I give my gift now or later? I want to make sure I’m not intrusive.
Friend Who Just Wants to Do the Right Thing
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Dear Do the Right Thing,
Send a gift. Send it now. Send it later. Apologies for being glib. I’m trying to keep it light. We all need some levity and perspective during these turbulent times. Whether you do it now or later is less important. There’s no right or wrong answer as to when. The world is upside down, after all.
At the very least, send a bottle of champagne or a bunch of flowers with a card saying, “I hope you have a wonderful day. I can’t wait for the party next year.” The only gift of this pandemic is having a reason to help each other. What other reason do we have for roaming the earth?
Who would have thought that a pandemic would have so rudely interrupted our work, life and even our weddings? Petty preoccupations have no place in our lives. Looking out for one another is our No. 1, No. 2 and No. 3 reason for being alive. There really is no other.
Here’s another story about a wedding that did and didn’t happen: Friends of mine were due to get married on the Greek island of Paros a few years ago. There were high winds on the sea the day of the wedding ceremony. We all went to bed the night before the wedding under a cloud.
The next morning the bride and her bridesmaids were getting their hair done and word came through: The priest, who had the keys to the ONLY Catholic Church on the island, was unable to make the trip from the mainland.
Despite that unforeseen turn of events, the wedding ceremony went ahead on the steps of the town hall, with a narrow pebbled street that wound its way down to the town center acting as the aisle.Not only did the wedding go ahead, but it was more special than anyone could have imagined.
The father of the bride made a speech, invoking the Greek gods of wind and sea. We partied like it was 1999. (It was, in fact, just a couple of years later.) The moral of this love story? What could have been a huge negative (no priest) turned into a giant positive (fun story).
The priest arrived the next day and they did it all over again. They met their first challenge as a not-quite-legally-married couple with grace and humor. Your friends won’t care if you give them a gift now or later, as long as you let them know the wind is blowing on their sails too.
Coronavirus update: COVID-19 has now killed at least 776,751 people worldwide, and the U.S. ranks 10th in the world for deaths per 100,000 people (51.5), Johns Hopkins University says. As of Monday, the U.S. has the world’s highest number of confirmed COVID-19 cases (5,422,622) and deaths (170,281). Worldwide, confirmed cases are now at 21,766,459.
The Dow Jones Industrial Index DJIA, -0.30%, the S&P 500 SPX, +0.27% and Nasdaq COMP, +1.00% ended marginally higher Monday as investors await progress on a vaccine and, as Democrats and Republicans debate the details of the next unemployment benefits, round two of the economic stimulus program.
AstraZeneca AZN, +2.30% in combination with Oxford University, BioNTech SE BNTX, +2.36% and partner Pfizer PFE, +0.76%, GlaxoSmithKline GSK, +1.43%, Johnson & Johnson JNJ, +0.50%, Merck & Co. MERK, -1.51%, Moderna MRNA, +0.88%, and Sanofi SAN, -1.33%, among others, are currently working on COVID-19 vaccines.
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com
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