Dear Moneyist,
I am one of three children, and we are all 60-plus years old. A vacation property that belonged to my parents is now in my mother’s name and my late father’s three children’s names. My sister scoffs at me when I suggest selling our family vacation property. She, her husband and kids go there all the time, and have taken over the place like they own it. They had it logged — without even mentioning it to me or my brother — and have paid the taxes and utilities for five years.
I used the place for over 30 years, but now that I am divorced I no longer have any interest in it, nor do my kids. I have discussed with my sister about her buying me and my brother out, but she refuses, saying they can’t afford to do that. Frankly, I could use the money. My mother can’t understand why I don’t love the place, but I don’t feel any attachment to it now that my father is gone. Do I cause a rift in the family by insisting on my share, or are my brother and I entitled to anything?
Ready to Move On
Dear Ready,
How much do you need the money?
A word of caution: If you force your sister to sell it or convince her to buy you out, you may cause a family schism that could last for decades, generations, millennia. This isn’t just a piece of property to your sister. This is part of your family’s legacy that presumably has a lot of happy memories — she is creating her own, and probably wants to pass those down to her children. It’s not a simple financial transaction. Before you act, make sure it’s worth it.
If all your names are on the deed as joint tenants in common, you may have a good chance at selling the home whether or not your sister wants to, and/or forcing her hand so she buys you out. (I’m curious to know how much it costs to log/renovate a vacation home. I see one estimate that puts the price tag at anything from $15,000 to $100,000.) If by logging, you mean allowing a third party to cut down trees on the property, that should have been discussed.
Recommended: ‘What did he do with all the money?’ My dying husband cashed his $700K life insurance and emptied his bank accounts
If you all have survivorship rights, I don’t foresee any court in the land overturning that. You will be stuck with the property, and will have to stand on the sidelines and watch your sister and her family use it. Another point? Do you all have the same share or does your mother own 50%? Proceed with caution. Assuming your children are in their 30s and don’t yet have children, they may change their minds about this property when they have families of their own.
Sit down with your sister and run through the finances. There’s a big difference between “can’t pay” and “won’t pay.”
Do you have questions about inheritance, tipping, weddings, family feuds, friends or any tricky issues relating to manners and money? Send them to MarketWatch’s Moneyist and please include the state where you live (no full names will be used).
By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Company, the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.
Would you like to sign up to an email alert when a new Moneyist column has been published? If so, click on this link.
Hello there, MarketWatchers. Check out the Moneyist private Facebook FB, +0.20% group where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas: inheritance, wills, divorce, tipping, gifting. I often talk to lawyers, accountants, financial advisers and other experts, in addition to offering my own thoughts. I receive more letters than I could ever answer, so I’ll be bringing all of that guidance — including some you might not see in these columns — to this group. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.
